Dear Tina...

I sent this email to Tina this afternoon after skipping bootcamp this morning.

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I'm going to be very honest... this week is a nightmare. I started teaching my three week course today, I'm bogged under a ton of work left over from pre-wedding, and we have only one car this week (Mr. Kiki's is in the shop waiting on a part that might be in later this week) so I have to bring him to work every day as well.

I swear, I gained every bit of weight I lost between the wedding and honeymoon!!

Ta, Kiki

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Kiki,

Do not worry!!! I know you will bounce right back. Do NOT let stress defeat you! I will see you tomorrow at 8am..hang in there woman!!

And that, folks, is why I love my trainer.

Where am I?

I'm getting married on Saturday... so, I'm a bit distracted. I'll be back in two weeks, post-honeymoon.

Ice ice baby

I'm kicking ass with my workouts this week. Monday morning, I joined the boot camper only group exercise, Tuesday evening, I did the open boot camp class, and then on Wednesday and Thursday, I worked out with Tina one on one. Today, I totally kicked ass by doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred Levels 1 and 3. I've heard from multiple sources that Level 2 is harder than Level 3, but after my workout today, I'm not sure if I believe that :) I think I might try Level 2 tomorrow, although I might hate myself for it.

As a bigger girl, I am frightened of a lot of health issues: hypertension, diabetes, infertility, etc. But the one thing that I've seen time and time again in my family are knee issues. My aunt has had both of her knees replaced by the time she was in her mid-50s, my cousin who is in her late 40s is a candidate for knee replacement, and of course, knee stress is a huge by-product of being overweight. So, on Tuesday night, when I walked out of boot camp with my knee killing me, I was worried and stressed. Did I just hurt my knee? Can I keep going with boot camp? What should I do with Tina on Wednesday, since I had a 1-on-1 with her? I went home, iced my knee, took some Advil, and called it a night.

The next morning, Tina was sympathetic. She told me that knee pain is normal when you're working hard, and even she needs to go home and ice her knees at night and pop a few pills before bed. Teeny tiny Tina? I don't believe it. She had a lot of cardio planned for us on Wednesday, and she gave me the option to modify for my knee, but I pushed through it, and luckily, no more pain. Thursday's 1-on-1 with her was killer. I specifically requested that we do more weight training, but that was a mistake. It was way harder than any cardio (except those asshat burpees... yes, I hate them) she threw at me on Wednesday.

I really like Tina. Yes, she works me hard, and sometimes I refer to our workouts as "beatings" but she's different than what I thought she'd be. When we first started working out, I thought she would just be this skinny little blonde chick who was doing this because she had to. One thing I hate/am afraid of is people judging fat/obese/overweight people because of how they look. I don't know why I thought Tina would be like that, but I did. She's the complete opposite. She knows that we're there to work, she is a great motivator, and she's honest. She never gives me something that I can't do, and if I need to take it down a notch, she doesn't shout in my face, Jillian style. She trusts me to do what I need to do, and I trust her to help me down this path.

What's on board this weekend? Well, more "boot camp" style workouts. Between Jillian's 30 Day Shred and The Biggest Loser/Bob Harper's Boot Camp videos, I think I have enough to tide me over until Monday morning.

There is no crying in bootcamp!!!

As I go to different group workouts associated with the bootcamp, I'm starting to recognize a few faces. This morning, though, there was one girl who I didn't recognize, and I had to laugh when Tina told this girl not to cry, because she always looked like she was about to. I took one look at her and, yup, indeed, this girl looked like she was about to cry. Sure, what we do in boot camp is hard, you hurt, you breathe heavy, you sweat, you groan, but dude... you don't CRY.

Remember Rule #1 of the Biggest Loser? Have you ever seen Jillian eat someone up and spit them out for crying in the gym because it was "too hard"?

Throughout the workout, I heard this girl complain about how she "couldn't do" certain moves (to which Tina said, "oh yes you can"), how her arches hurt (mine did too, but they usually do when I get dehydrated... what a weird manifestation, right?), how she couldn't run (I can't either, but shut up and do it), etc. And I swear, SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS ON THE VERGE OF TEARS THE WHOLE TIME.

I wonder about people. What makes you sign up for a program called Bootcamp, which you know is going to work you to the core, to help you achieve some goals that you yourself set, and then think it's going to be a walk in the park? I'm easily 10 years older than Ms. Cryer, my knees are killing me, my body aches, and yet, I go back for more.

Shut up and fight like a girl.

The Hangover

Mr. Kiki and I were traveling this weekend for a friend's wedding that was nine hours away from our home. Luckily, my hometown happened to be the midpoint for that trip, and we were able to spend some time with my family, which usually leads to some crappy eating. Throw in the wedding, and...

Friday: Philly steak sandwich and onion rings at a local pub

Saturday: Mom's homemade spaghetti and meatballs with some awesomely fresh bread

Sunday: (at the wedding) another Philly steak sandwich, baked potato bar, cookies, cake, cotton candy, and I don't know how many Malibu and diet cokes...

Sunday: Oh, yeah, Melting Pot

I know, I know, I make my own choices regarding food, and a lot of those choices weren't very good ones this weekend. But it's a holiday! And I was celebrating my friend's marriage! Somehow, looking back, those excuses just aren't good enough. So, I got back on track yesterday. My 6:15AM bootcamp workout helped too.

Breakfast: two eggs, two links of turkey sausage and a banana

Morning snack: some trail mix

Lunch: Faux buffalo wings (I love me some fake chicken...much better than a veggie burger!), carrots, and a jello 60 cal pudding

Afternoon snack: Chobani peach greek yogurt

Dinner: Italian turkey sausage (grilled up), asparagus, some mashed potatoes, and a scoop of 90 cal ice cream

I really wonder if people are starting to find a correlation between my boot camp adventures and the fact that I'm getting married in 16 days (!!!). Actually, I brought this up to my mom this weekend, and told her that bootcamp is going to extend past the wedding/honeymoon, and that I'm doing this for myself, to get healthy again, to feel happy in my body (which unfortunately, I do not right now), and not to try to lose 25 pounds in 2 weeks (which, duh, is not even possible). I'm a total stress eater, so if I can focus on not eating everything in sight for the next 16 days, eat healthier, and get my exercise in, I'll be a happy camper.